Joy Division is an exorbitant band, need I say more? Nay.
I write in an hour of quiet desperation; there is a sizable essay I need to write by Wednesday. Seeing as I will have no time between now and then: I must write it today, or tonight... or hm.
I am starting to think writing this essay will be harder than fighting windmills. 'Twill be just a romantic notion, no different than finding true love. What I was referring to as the "romantic notion" is writing this piece of desultory filth (the essay). I am probably not making much sense, care I not about making sense. This just a post so I can ease my whizzened mind and sooth my burning thoughts.
I cannot write an essay arguing who deserves the Holy Land. Palestinians or Israelis? Yeah, it's actually not too bad, yet it still seems like an immense topic, riddled with so many religious and moral implications and is such a highly disputatious topic. Even though I have my beliefs, it is still incredibly hard to justify what side I believe in. Maybe it's because I did such a poor job in gathering sources, or maybe I am over thinking this. Who knows, I know I do not. I just want to sleep for a thousand years, and awake in a different time. If I were to wake and everyone I love was gone, I don't think I would grieve much. And that very thought scares me. Maybe I just want that to happen, which is just as dire.
I cannot focus. I need to write this essay. I need something down. I have zero out of 7-10 pages written. It is at this time I worry. I need something, and I cannot think, my brain processing power is below my normal, so whatever essay I write will be worse than normal which is terrible.
I expect an F or lower on this essay. Oh well. Maybe now I will actually try writing it.
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